


Fight Me

by Mighty_Penguin_96, thewishingdragon



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Homophobic Language, Trans Female Character, Underage Drinking, What Did You Expect, abusive big bud dean, but in a chicken sense, everyone else can Fuck Off, if you fuck with the people she's protecting you're gonna get your shit wrecked, she's brooding, the non con scene is very brief, trans Veronica, trans mac, transphobic language, trigger warning, veronica has a denim jacket with a swan on it bc swans Will Fuck You Up, veronica's only nice to betty and martha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-19 09:56:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19972144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mighty_Penguin_96/pseuds/Mighty_Penguin_96, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewishingdragon/pseuds/thewishingdragon
Summary: Heathers but Veronica is meaner.Instead of Fight For Me it's just Fight Me.





	1. Chapter 1

“Veronica! It’s time to wake up!”

Veronica groaned, pulling the covers up to her chin and tucking her face further into the pillow, groaning louder at the creaking of the door hinges as her mother came in.

“Come on, now, Veronica,” her mother chided, “It’s the first day of school.”

Veronica said nothing, giving a tired huff as she pulled the comforter over her head.

A moment later, she let out a disgruntled squawk as the covers were torn away.

“Up,” her mother ordered, dumping the covers on the mattress in a heap, “Breakfast is ready. Finish getting ready soon so you still have time to eat. Don’t make me ask you again.”

Veronica grumbled unintelligibly as she sat up, hand reaching towards her nightstand and feeling around for her glasses, her fingers wrapping loosely around the thin wire frames and slipping them on her face a moment later. She sighed in relief as the world around her came into focus, before sliding out of bed and shuffling over to her dresser, picking out a dark blue band t-shirt and some jeans.

“No real point in trying too hard,” she snorted, “Not like there’s anyone to impress.”

As she tugged on her jeans, an insistent knock at the door met her ears, causing her to fall over with a surprised yelp, landing on her ass with her legs tangled in her jeans.

“I’m up!” she called, silently mortified.

“Don’t take too long!” her mother said, “You don’t want to miss breakfast, do you?”

“I can eat at school.”

“Not if you’re late!”

Veronica huffed in exasperation, quietly relieved when she heard the sound of her mother’s retreating footsteps. Pulling herself up off of the floor, she pulled her jeans on the rest of the way and went to the bathroom, washing her face and putting on deodorant before tugging her t-shirt over her head and brushing her hair.

Satisfied with her appearance, she went back to her room and stepped into a pair of black boots, lacing them up and grabbing her favorite jacket off of the hook on the back of her closet door.

It had been a gift from Martha. A denim jacket with a hand embroidered swan on the back, spreading its wings proudly as though daring anyone to challenge it.

Veronica loved it with all her heart.

After checking over her reflection one last time and adding a few finishing touches to her look, she gave herself an approving nod, unplugged her phone from its charger, grabbed her bag, and hurried downstairs.

“Oh good,” her mother said, “For a moment I was worried I’d have to go back up there.”

Veronica bit the inside of her cheek as she fought back a smile at her mother’s teasing. “I’m not  _ that _ bad at getting up in the mornings.”

Her dad laughed from his seat at the dining table, smiling teasingly at her over the rim of his coffee mug. “With how late you stay up most nights, I’m surprised you  _ can _ get up in the mornings.”

Veronica stuck her tongue out at him as she poured herself a cup of coffee, grabbing a serving of breakfast before sitting down at the table with her parents.

“So, any first day jitters?” her dad asked the moment her mouth was full.

Veronica glared at him, deflating when he laughed at her.

“Sorry, kiddo,” he chuckled, “But it’s a little hard to take you seriously when you look like an angry chipmunk.”

Veronica rolled her eyes as she shoveled another bite of food into her mouth.

“Small bites, Veronica,” her mother chided, “You might choke.”

Veronica paused, a forkful of eggs inches from her lips, contemplating whether or not to be a smartass and take the smallest bites possible. In the end, she decided against it. It would just be petty and waste her and her mother’s time.

The rest of breakfast passed uneventfully, and Veronica filled a thermos with coffee before hugging her parents and riding away on her motorcycle.

Betty’s truck was already in the student parking lot when Veronica arrived, stopping in the empty spot next to it and knocking on the window.

“You ready for another shitty year?” Betty asked, grinning sarcastically at her.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Veronica snorted. “Wonder what kind of shitshow we’re in for this time.”

“More of the same, probably,” Betty sighed, “Hope you woke up on the right side of the bed this morning. First day’s always the worst.”

“The right side of the bed stopped existing as soon as the school year started,” Veronica grumbled, taking a swig of coffee from her thermos and wincing when she burned her tongue.

“We waiting for Martha?” Betty asked.

“‘Course.”

Betty nodded, and Veronica looked at the swarm of people at the doors, nearly nostalgic of how school used to be.

“Ugh,” Betty rolled her eyes, gaze focused on something behind Veronica, “Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber are here.”

Kurt and Ram pushed themselves through the crowd, knocking into innocent freshman and laughing amongst themselves. Veronica scowled.

“Hi, guys!” Martha shouted, causing Betty to shout in shock. “Are you guys excited, or what? We’re finally  _ seniors _ !”

“I gotta say, I’m not feeling too optimistic,” Veronica said, watching Kurt and Ram swagger towards them.

“Hi, Ram!” Martha said, seemingly oblivious to the imminent danger. 

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Martha Dumptruck, Betty, uh… Dyke, and Veronica  _ Nobody _ ,” Kurt said, snickering.

“Nice one,” Ram guffawed, holding a fist between them, “Punch it in!”

The idiots fist bumped, giggling like dumbasses at their perceived victory. Of course, anything’s a victory if you’re too stupid to know when you’ve lost.

Veronica forced a laugh, sauntering towards them with her hands on her hips. “Nice one, Kurt. Really witty. I like your hair, too, did your  _ mommy _ do it for you?”

Martha gasped. “ _ Veronica! _ ”

“He started it. I’m just finishing it,” Veronica glared down at him, “Who the fuck do you think you are, anyway? You’re the quarterback now, but that’s not gonna mean shit after we graduate. You’re a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant.”

Kurt looked at her, blinking slowly, eyes vacant. Veronica could practically see the rusty gears trying to turn in his head. He turned his gaze towards his hands, staring searchingly into his own palms.

He looked ridiculous.

Finally, he locked eyes with her again, face scrunched up in concentration as he held tightly to whatever rebuttal he was about to send her way. He opened his mouth, likely to deliver what, to him, would be groundbreaking information.

“You have a zit right there,” he said, jabbing one of his fat fingers into her cheek.

“And you’re about to have a broken hand if you keep touching me,” Veronica growled.

“Veronica?” Betty’s voice called uncertainly from behind her.

Veronica spun around, glaring when she saw Ram getting up in Martha’s space. “Hey asshole! Back the fuck off!”

“Relax,” Ram said, offering a sickeningly sweet smile, plucking Martha’s glasses off her face and holding them over her head teasingly, letting her reach for them for a few moments before dropping them to the asphalt.

He lifted his foot to stomp on them, but before he could, Veronica reared back and punched him in the face.

Ram squealed like a pussy bitch, bringing a hand up to cradle his bruising jaw.

Kurt shouted in alarm, running to tackle Veronica like a feral little man, tripping over his own feet as she sidestepped, sending him sprawling on his ass against the pavement. The other, marginally more stupid man rushed to help his fallen brother in dickishness as Veronica triumphantly picked Martha’s glasses up off the ground and handed them back to her.

Betty and Martha cheered as Kurt and Ram glared at them.

“We’re gonna get you back for this,” Kurt said

“Yeah!” Ram called.

Veronica snickered. “Really? And how are you gonna do that? Tell a teacher? Rally the football team? Are you really gonna tell them what happened and let everyone know you got your asses handed to you by a girl?”

The two jocks shared a look, before scowling at her.

“This isn’t over,” Kurt promised.

“That’s nice,” Veronica said dismissively, “Why don’t you two get going before you’re late to class?”

“Yeah, run and hide, you, uh... stupid... wait no- naked mole rats!” Martha yelled.

“That’s too mean,” Betty reprimanded, “Naked mole rats don’t deserve to be compared to these two.”

“It was a good try,” Veronica said, grinning in satisfaction as Kurt and Ram scurried away.

“Definitely not a bad attempt,” Betty agreed.

“Do you guys need hall passes?” Veronica asked.

“No, that’s okay, I’m right down the hall. See you guys in homeroom?” Martha said.

“Absolutely. Be safe!” Veronica replied, hugging her.

“Can I get a hall pass? I don’t really feel like going to gym right away.” 

Veronica nodded, and forged the pass quickly. “I’m gonna head to the bathroom before going to English. See you in homeroom.”

“See ya!” Betty called, hopping back into her truck.

Veronica waved, jogging towards the school building, forging a pass of her own as she made her way to the bathroom.

She’d already opened the door and slipped inside before she realized that there were other people in the bathroom. Two of the Heathers stood in front of the mirrors, fixing their makeup and chatting idly with the third, who was apparently in one of the stalls.

“Grow up, Heather,” Chandler groaned, “Bulimia is  _ so _ ‘87.”

“Maybe you should go to a hospital, Heather,” Mac said.

_ “Yeah, _ Heather,” Duke said, voice dripping with sarcasm, “Maybe I  _ should.” _

Veronica’s eyes widened in surprise as the door opened next to her, and she scrambled to find a hiding spot before she was noticed.

_ “Ah, _ Heather and Heather,” Ms. Fleming said, sounding smug. The sound of retching rang out from one of the stalls. “And Heather. Perhaps you didn’t hear over all the vomiting; you’re late for class.”

“Heather’s not feeling well, we’re  _ helping _ her,” Chandler said.

Veronica started writing furiously the moment she realized what was about to happen.

“Not without a hall pass you’re not,” Ms. Fleming sang. “Weeks’ detention.”

_ “Actually! _ Ms Fleming! All four of us are out on a hall pass,” she said, handing over the slip of paper, “Yearbook committee.”

Ms. Fleming examined the pass carefully, before handing it back with a huff. “I see you’re all listed. Go on and get where you’re going.”

With that, she took her leave. The moment the door shut, Chandler snatched the pass from her hand.

“This is an excellent forgery,” she remarked, “Who  _ are _ you?”

“Veronica Sawyer,” she said simply, “I’ve got a favor to ask.”

Chandler’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What kind of favor?”

Veronica was unimpressed.

“I want to sit at your table during lunch,” she said, “Just once, to make people leave me alone.”

Chandler looked her up and down skeptically.

“I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes,” Veronica said in an attempt to sweeten the pot.

“How about prescriptions?” Duke asked.

“Shut up, Heather.”

“Sorry, Heather.”

Chandler took Veronica’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, turning her head to study her face.

“You know,” Chandler mused, “For a greasy little nobody, you  _ do _ have good bone structure.”

“Gee,  _ thanks,” _ Veronica deadpanned, “I’m assuming that’s meant as a compliment.”

“And a symmetrical face,” Mac interjected, “If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I’d have matching halves. That’s very important.”

“Okay, what the fuck.”

“Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds,” Duke sneered.

Veronica scoffed. “Wow, fuck you too, I guess.”

Duke snorted. “Okay, I kinda like her, but we don’t need another mythic bitch in the group.”

“Shut up, Heather,” Chandler snapped. “She has potential. Except that fucking jacket. What the fuck are you, a lesbian?”

“Depends.”

Chandler raised a brow, curious. “Depends on  _ what, _ exactly?”

Veronica smirked. “You interested?”

Duke cackled as Chandler reared back in shock.

“Absolutely not!” Chandler sputtered. “I’m not a fucking lesbo.”

Veronica snickered at the way Chandler blushed, before holding out a hand, “C’mon, I don’t have all day, and neither do you. Do we have a deal or what?”

Chandler eyed her suspiciously for a moment, before shaking her hand. “Fine. But you’re not going to be seen with us dressed like  _ that.” _

“The outfit stays,” Veronica insisted, “I don’t care about being your friend. All I care about is keeping people the fuck away from me.”

“You’re not in a position to demand much,” Heather sneered.

“Maybe not,” Veronica conceded, “But I don’t have to help you out of trouble like that again, either. You don’t really have much leverage here, yourself.”

Chandler huffed, then turned to face Duke and Mac. They whispered among themselves for a few moments, before turning back to her once they had come to a decision.

“We get to modify the outfit, but the general…  _ feel _ of it stays. And you get us out of classes every other Thursday or Friday for shopping.” 

“No skirts or heels, I keep the jacket, and I don’t remove any of the piercings. Other than that, you can  _ modify _ my outfit.”

Chandler stuck out her hand. “Deal.”

Veronica shot her a teasing grin. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

Mac squealed and ran to hug her. “Yay!”

Veronica stiffened, remaining motionless until Mac disengaged.

“Oh my god, Mac, you can’t just  _ hug _ people out of the blue like that,” Duke said, trying not to laugh.

Chandler, on the other hand, seemed to have no reservations about laughing at Veronica’s expense.

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Just don’t fucking do that again. I’m providing a service, not throwing a slumber party.”

“She can’t really promise anything,” Duke said, gesturing toward Mac, “She gets excited pretty easily, and she likes to latch on to whoever’s closest.”

“I was literally the farthest from her, but okay.” Veronica frowned as she turned her gaze to Chandler, who was still laughing. “Are you done? We need to get to class.”

Chandler continued to giggle for a few moments, before finally calming herself down. “Okay, fine, let’s go.”

“Finally.”


	2. Veronica Sawyer: Raging Bisexual

A month after joining the Heathers’ clique, Veronica could safely say that being popular wasn’t as cool as people advertised. Which, fair enough, advertising was generally deliberately misleading in some way or another, but still.

The worst part was, the Heathers had begun making use of her talents for things other than what they had initially agreed upon.

“I need you to write a hot and horny but realistic note for me in Ram’s handwriting,” Chandler said.

“Hello to you, too,” Veronica replied drily, “What do you need it for? Is he not good enough at dirty talk already?”

Chandler scoffed. “It’s not for me.”

“Then who’s it for?”

“Just do it,” Chandler demanded, “Heather, bend over. She needs something to write on.”

Duke sighed and bent over at the waist.

Veronica felt a faint twinge of sympathy as she quickly wrote the note, purposefully keeping it vague, since she didn’t know who it was for.

“There,” she said, ripping the page out of her notebook, “Now will you tell me what’s going on?”

Chandler took it from her and grinned wickedly as she folded it up and held it out. “Oh Ram! Could you give this note to Martha Dumptruck for me?”

Veronica felt a wave of cold fury wash down her spine.

“What are you talking to that lardass for?” Ram asked, beginning to unfold it.

“She’s having a heavy flow and wanted some advice from my gyno,” Chandler said.

“Gross!” Ram shrieked, tossing the note back at her like it was poison and scurrying off with Kurt.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Veronica hissed, “That’s not funny.”

“It is when you find out that  _ I _ heard that Martha Dumptruck kissed Ram Sweeney on the kickball field in first grade,” Chandler crooned.

Duke and Mac giggled behind her.

“I remember that!” Mac chirped, “It was disgusting.”

Veronica was practically shaking with rage now as she pried the note from Chandler’s hands and tore it to shreds.

“What the hell, Veronica?” Chandler demanded as Veronica scattered the pieces in one of the cafeteria garbage bins.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” Veronica growled, stepping into Chandler’s space, “You don’t get to mass with Martha or Betty.  _ Ever. _ They’re off-limits.”

Chandler shot her an unimpressed stare. “And why should we leave them alone?”

“Because,” Veronica scowled, “They’re  _ mine. _ You can’t touch them. I won’t let you.”

Chandler scoffed. “You’re popular now, Veronica. They’re losers. They aren’t worth hanging out with anymore.”

“There are precious few worthwhile people in this god awful town and I’ve found them all,” Veronica quipped.

Chandler smirked. “How sweet.”

Veronica rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t talking about the three of you.”

Chandler huffed. “Y’know, sometimes I get the feeling that you don’t like being around us.”

“Gee, you got that on the first try?” Veronica asked, feigning shock.

“No need to be rude,” Chandler muttered.

“Sure there is,” Veronica said, “You’re keeping people away from me, and I’m helping you cut class. Outside of that, we don’t like each other. This is a business exchange. We’re not friends.”

“Wow,” Chandler quipped, “You’re really serious about this whole punk I-don’t-give-a-shit thing, aren’t you?”

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Listen, I didn’t start hanging around you three because I wanted to. I did this because it’s beneficial to me. You’re using me for hall passes and absence notes, it makes sense that I’d have something to gain from this too. Outside of that, I have no personal stake in this relationship. The moment it fails to benefit me, I’m out. Got it?”

“But… but we could be such good friends!” Mac whined.

Veronica frowned. “Could we? You just called one of my best friends disgusting.”

“To be fair, you don’t know if she meant Martha kissing Ram was disgusting. I gotta say, from personal experience, kissing Ram in general is pretty gross,” Duke said.

Veronica snorted. “You’re not wrong, I guess. Still, I draw the fucking line at going for one of the only people I don’t hate around here.”

“Fine, whatever,” Chandler groaned, “We won’t mess with Martha Dumptruck-”

“Dunnstock.”

_ “Whatever. _ C’mon, we have to do the lunchtime poll.”

“What’s the question?” Duke asked.

“God, you were with me in study hall when I came up with it,” Chandler snapped.

“I forgot.”

“Such a pillowcase,” Chandler sighed, shoving a clipboard into Veronica’s hands and leading her around the cafeteria.

Veronica followed begrudgingly, glaring at half the people they questioned, until they ended up at the preppy table.

“Courtney,” Chandler greeted, voice full of faux sweetness,  _ “Love _ your cardigan.”

Courtney smiled politely. “Thanks. I got it yesterday. Totally blew my allowance.”

“Okay so, check this out. You win five million dollars on the same day that aliens land on Earth and say they’re gonna blow it up in two days. What do you do?”

“I’d give it to the homeless,” Courtney said, “Every cent.”

Veronica snorted. “Cool, I’ll put your response down as Pointlessly Performative Charity.”

Courtney scoffed. “Fuck you, Sawyer.”

“Why fuck myself when I could get you to do it for me?” Veronica grinned.

“Says the butch lez wearing a denim jacket,” Courtney shot back.

“Fair enough,” Veronica shrugged, “With nails like those, there’s no way you’re a top.”

Chandler snorted.

“What are you laughing for?” Veronica asked, “You give off total pillow princess vibes.”

“In your dreams,” Chandler scoffed.

“Nah,” Veronica quipped, “In my dreams people usually reciprocate.”

“Wow, bitchy much?”

“All the time,” Veronica replied.

Courtney coughed, causing Chandler and Veronica to glare at her.

“Let’s move on, then, nothing else to get from this group of pillowcases.”

“Wow, we actually agree for once,” Veronica muttered, “Who’s next?”

Chandler’s eyes skimmed over the cafeteria, examining the people, until, with a wicked grin, she pointed Veronica towards a dude sitting all by himself in one corner of the cafeteria.

“There,” she said, “He looks like the kind of person you’d get along with.”

“Okay, rude,” Veronica said, “I’m punk. He’s just emo.”

“Still more your crowd than mine,” Chandler said, pushing her towards him, “Now go.”

Veronica dragged herself over to his table, bristling at the idea of talking to some asshole she didn’t even know. At least she had a name to put to most of the faces in here.

He grinned as she approached, putting down his book to offer her his full attention. “Greetings and salutations. You a Heather?” 

Veronica snorted. “Not if they fucking paid me. I’m a Veronica.”

“Interesting. Why do you hang around them then?”

“Let’s just say we have a mutually beneficial arrangement, but it’s not your concern. Now, I have a stupid question-”

“Ah, there are no stupid questions.”

“You’ll change your tune when you hear this one,” Veronica said. “You win five million bucks and the same day you get the check aliens land on Earth and say they’ll blow it up in two days. What do you do?”

“...That’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard.”

Veronica snickered. “I told you.”

“If I had to actually give an answer, I think I’d row out to the middle of a lake, bring along a bottle of tequila, my sax, and some Bach.”

“How very.”

Suddenly, Chandler’s hand latched onto Veronica’s bicep, dragging her away from the table.

“Come on, Veronica.”

Veronica rolled her eyes and let herself be dragged away, not really caring all that much. As they passed the jocks’ table, though, she heard a whisper of “Let’s give him a good scare.”

Great. What were those idiots planning now?

She watched Kurt and Ram get up and stalk over to emo kid’s seat, dumping his lunch onto the table and generally just being dicks from the look of things. Not necessarily her problem.

“Hey, Ram, doesn’t this cafeteria have a No Fags Allowed rule?” Kurt laughed.

Oh  _ hell _ no.

Veronica shook Chandler off and stomped back over to the emo kid’s table.

“They seem to have an open-door policy for assholes, though,” the kid quipped.

Ram leaned in close with a sneer. “What did you say, dickhead?”

“Allow me to explain it for you,” Veronica said.

Ram spun around to face her, at which point she punched him square in the nose, knocking him flat on his ass.

“Nice one,” the guy said.

“Thanks,” Veronica replied, “But if I’m gonna be punching people for you, I feel like we should properly introduce ourselves. Veronica Sawyer, raging bisexual. Emphasis on the rage part.”

He laughed. “Jason Dean, JD for short. Also a raging bisexual.”

“Nice.”

* * *

“I can’t believe they gave you both three days of detention,” Chandler griped.

Veronica shrugged. “It’s not that bad. I’m mostly upset that Kurt and Ram didn’t get in trouble for  _ literal hate speech.” _

“They’re football players,” Duke pointed out, “The school’s not gonna punish their athletes. They’ll shield those two dumbasses from any accusations they can if they think it’ll win the school a shiny new trophy.”

“And thus the cycle of entitlement continues,” Veronica sighed, rolling her eyes, “They’ll never face the consequences of their actions as long as they’re able to throw a ball.”

“And you think you can make them face any sort of consequences?” Chandler scoffed.

“Maybe I can’t,” Veronica admitted, “But I can show them that I’m not impressed by how good they are at some pointless, overrated game of catch.”

“We live in an age of spectacle,” Duke said, “They’re the gladiators. It sucks, but it’s how things are.”

“Not like things would be much better if we were in an age of reason,” Veronica argued, “Intellectualism lacks compassion, and people spend more time thinking about how to improve things than they spend actually fixing jack shit.”

“So you hate the intellectuals and you hate the jocks,” Chandler said, “Is there any kind of person you don’t hate?”

“Sure. The strong and the clever can’t hold a candle to the kind,” Veronica said, “Strength and intelligence are nice and all, but they’re meaningless without compassion.”

“Compassion doesn’t get you anywhere,” Chandler scoffed.

“And that way of thinking doesn’t get you in anybody’s good graces,” Veronica retorted.

“I don’t need to be in anyone’s good graces as long as I’m on top.”

Duke snickered, and swung her mallet, sending her ball through an arch perfectly. “First of all, you never top, and everyone knows that. Secondly, you do realize we’re not going to be at the top of the social hierarchy forever, right? What are you planning to do after we graduate?”

Chandler huffed, watching impatiently as Mac set up her shot and bristling at Veronica’s laughter at the comment about her topping. “Why do you think I’m taking Veronica to a Remington party tonight? No better way to establish ourselves than to get a headstart.”

“Like college popularity will last any longer than high school popularity,” Veronica said, “It’s pointless. Once you’re out of school, nobody’s gonna give a shit what your last name is unless there’s something they can get from you.”

“This from the girl who was going on and on about compassion earlier,” Chandler shot back.

Veronica rolled her eyes, smiling politely as Mac sent her ball through the arch and turned to give them all an ecstatic grin. “Compassion’s important, but that doesn’t mean most people have it.”

“Fair. We’re lucky that out of the four of us, we have one person who’s compassionate,” Duke said, patting Chandler’s shoulder.

“You think I’m compassionate?” Chandler asked.

“Hell no, I was talking about Mac.”

“Wow, fuck you,” Chandler snapped, striking the red ball with her mallet and sending it crashing against Duke’s ball, knocking it far off course.

Duke gave a tired sigh as she watched her ball get sent several feet away. “Why?”

Chandler gave her a mischievous grin. “Why not?”

“This game would be so much better if you played with us, Veronica,” Mac said.

Veronica snickered. “Yeah, I’m really missing out. Sure would love to be in the middle of  _ that.” _

Duke giggled. “You could play for me.”

“And lose before I’ve started? Pass.”

“Hear that, Heather?” Chandler called as Duke trudged towards the ball, “Might as well give up now.”

Duke rolled her eyes, carefully assessing the field, before swinging the mallet hard, sending the ball flying and watching anxiously as it bounced off of a lawn sculpture and rolled back into the play area, knocking Chandler’s own ball off course as it went through the next arch.

Veronica whooped in excitement. “Holy shit!”

Mac clapped and cheered as Chandler sent Duke a nasty glare. “Incredible!”

Duke preened at the praise and attention, thankfully spared from Chandler’s ire by Veronica’s mother calling from the porch.

“Heather! Your mother called!”

Mac groaned. “Probably wants me home. I’ll see you!”

“I should go, too,” Duke muttered.

Chandler huffed. “I guess I should go home and get ready for the party tonight.” She spun around to fix Veronica with a threatening glare. “You had better not screw this up. Remington parties are no fucking joke.”

“‘Course not,” Veronica replied, “People like jokes.”

Chandler stomped away, leaving Veronica to collect the croquet equipment.

“What crawled up your ass and died?” Veronica called, laughing to herself when Chandler flipped her off.


	3. Of Friends and Parties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day, woot woot  
> this is the most I have contributed to this work so far so go me  
> enjoy?

“Bye mom! Bye dad! Love you!” Veronica called as she jogged to where Chandler’s car was parked.

“Good to know you’re able to be polite, at least,” Chandler snarked.

“Only with people who are worth being polite to.”

Chandler frowned. “Fuck you.”

“Fuck me yourself, coward.”

“And how exactly do you manage to be so sure you’re not a lesbian?” Chandler asked.

“Lesbians are only attracted to women,” Veronica said, “I like guys too sometimes. Bisexuality _ is _ a thing, you know.”

“Ugh, you better not mention that at the party,” Chandler said, “Otherwise guys will be trying to get me to have a threesome with you or something.”

Veronica scoffed. “Like I’m gonna have a threesome with some skeevy college guy.”

“Well…”

“Heather I swear to god if I have to fuck some asshole frat boy tonight I  _ will _ steal your car.”

“Suck it up, it’s not  _ that _ bad.”

Veronica frowned.  _ “Not that bad _ does not equal good, Heather.”

“Well it’s not like anyone can just go and have lesbo sex whenever they want, Veronica.”

“Oh, so you  _ are _ interested?” Veronica teased.

“Fuck no!”

Veronica chuckled. “Relax, I’m just fucking with you. Still, I’m not fucking any frat guys. Not that they’ll be that into it if they manage to get me naked, anyway.”

“Why’s that?”

Veronica shrugged. “Frats are mostly made up of cis white guys looking to fuck cis women, and I’m not cis, which will become abundantly obvious to anyone that manages to get into my pants.”

Heather immediately turned on her hazard lights and pulled over. “You’re  _ what _ now?”

“Not… cis?”

“Should I know what that means?”

Veronica gave her a disbelieving stare. “I mean, kinda. It’s 2019.”

“Okay,” Chandler sighed, “Assume I’m a dumbass-”

“Already doing that.”

“Fuck off. Just spell it out for me.”

“I’m trans,” Veronica deadpanned, “And if anyone at this party manages to get me naked, they’re going to know that when they notice the absence of a pussy.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me this  _ sooner?” _

_ “When would this come up in casual conversation?” _

“Mother  _ FUCKER!”  _ Chandler hit her head onto the steering wheel, causing the horn to go off. “Well, at least this explains why you wouldn’t wear a skirt.”

“Nah, that’s just because I fucking hate them and I don’t give a shit about conforming to a patriarchal ideal of femininity.”

“Okay, well, we can work with this,” Chandler sighed.

“I honestly don’t see what you’re so upset about,” Veronica muttered, “It’s not like you were gonna be able to convince me to fuck any of these Remington assholes in the first place. Emphasis on the part about not fucking assholes.”

Chandler let out a long-suffering sigh as she pulled into the 7-Eleven parking lot. “Whatever. Just go get me some fucking corn nuts.”

“Anything to get out of this situation,” Veronica muttered, “Regular or BQ?”

“BQ!” Chandler snapped.

“Okay, okay, no need to get your panties in a twist. I’ll be right back,” Veronica said, getting out of the car.

“Greetings and salutations, Veronica Sawyer. What brings you here?” 

“Hey, JD. I’m just getting Corn Nuts for Heather.”

“I see. And would you like a Slurpee with that?” 

“No, but if you’re nice I’ll let you buy me a Big Gulp.”

JD scoffed. “Please. That’s like going to Mickey D’s to order a salad. Slurpees are the signature dish of the house! Now, did you say blue raspberry or cherry?”

“I said Big Gulp, Casanova. Take it down a notch.”

“Alright, alright. No Slurpee, got it.”

“So,” Veronica said, “You usually get into fights on your first day?”

“Nah,” he said, “You usually get into fights on behalf of the new kids?”

“Nope, but I like to make a special exception for homophobia.”

“Fair enough,” he conceded, “You ever get in any fights for those friends of yours?”

“Nope. And to be honest, I don’t really like them all that much.”

“I don’t like your friends all that much, either,” JD snickered.

“Honestly, it’s more like they’re my coworkers, and our job is to be popular and shit.”

The two were startled by the sound of Chandler’s car horn blaring outside.

JD held the door open for Veronica as they walked out. “Maybe it’s time to take a vacation.”

“Maybe it’s time to quit,” Veronica retorted, grimacing at the sickly sweet smile Chandler gave her as she leaned against the horn.

“ _ Veronica _ , say bye bye to Jesse James, we have to motor!”

“Yeah, yeah, keep your panties on,” Veronica called, “Or don’t. You’ll probably be taking them off later, anyway. Might as well get it done now.”

“You’re such a bitch,” Chandler groaned as Veronica slid into the passenger’s seat.

“Does that mean you don’t want the corn nuts?” Veronica teased, dangling them in front of Chandler’s face.

“Fuck you, of course I want the corn nuts.” Chandler snatched the bag away from her and pulled out of the parking lot. “So here’s the plan. I’m gonna set you up with a guy, you’re gonna suck his dick, but you’re not gonna let it go farther than that. Make sense?”

“Yeah, but I have a question.”

“What?”

“ _ In what fucking universe do you think that I would agree to that? _ ”

“In the universe that you want to continue this… how did you put it? ‘Mutually beneficial relationship’?”

“So what, I’m just supposed to somehow ward off a horny frat guy if he decides he’s not in the mood for a blowjob? Pass.”

“They’re always in the mood for a blowjob. Suck it up. Literally.”

Veronica groaned. “Heather, I don’t know how to explain this to you in a way you’ll understand, but I’ll try anyway.  _ If this half baked plan goes wrong I could get seriously hurt. _ What makes you think I’m willing to take that risk?”

Chandler was silent for a long moment, before finally, she sighed and slumped back in her seat. “Okay. If anything goes wrong, you find me, and I’ll take care of it.”

Veronica stared uncomprehendingly for several seconds. Somehow, this felt sincere, but Veronica didn’t trust that easily. “Y’know what, never mind. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you-”

“Yes, I’m sure,” she huffed, “Let’s just go get this over with.”

Chandler sighed. “Look, I get that you don’t trust me, but I’m serious. If anything happens,  _ please find me. _ ”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll keep it in mind.”

“Thank you.”

The rest of the ride passed in silence, and before long, they had arrived at the Remington frat house for the party, where Veronica was almost immediately introduced to some guy she had no doubt she’d forget the name of seconds later.

“Veronica, this is Brad,” Chandler said, introducing them.

Ugh. Yup, definitely gonna forget his name.

“And this is David,” Chandler said, gesturing to her own “date.”

“You ladies ready to party?” David grinned.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Chandler said, “Veronica here  _ loves _ to party.”

Veronica nodded along, not really listening, and stood in the hallway boredly humoring Chad or whatever his name was as he talked about his major.

“So,” Garrett or whatever said, “You wanna go ahead and get down to it?”

Veronica resisted the urge to roll her eyes.  _ Mutually beneficial relationship, my ass.  _ “Might as well.”

“I thought you’d be more into it,” Kirk said

“I thought douchey white guys liked it when girls fought back?”

“Wow, bitchy much?”

“Do you want me to suck your dick or not?”

“Okay, okay, yeah, fine.” He started to unzip his pants.

Veronica got down onto her knees, and when he whipped it out-

It was  _ tiny _ .

Poor Kyle. He was half the size hard that she was _ soft. _

“So, you like what you see?”

_ Hell no, little meat.  _ “Yeah, I do,” She said, hoping he didn’t notice her voice cracking with her suppressed laughter.

“You good?” Jared asked.

“Just-”  _ Trying to catch my breath so I don’t laugh. _ “Nervous.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine, you’re hella hot.”

“Hope I don’t choke,” she joked. 

As she got down to it, Devin opened his mouth again, “Although, you’re kinda dressed like a dyke.”

Aaaaaand  _ BITE. _

“Ow, shit!”

“Sorry,” she said, disengaging. “First time I’ve had someone your size.”

“Makes sense. Ready to keep going?”

“You know it,”  _ Skinny Peen. _

“Cool.”

As she got back to it, he put his hands in her hair and smashed her nose into his pubes.

“Yeah, choke on it, babe,” he moaned.

Despite her best efforts, she started laughing, but Cory was somehow even dumber than he looked, because he seemed to think she was actually choking on his dick, which caused him to moan more.

After just a few more moments, he came in her mouth, no warning at all.  _ Wow, rude. _

“Did you cum, babe?” he asked, grinning down at her.

_ What the fuck?  _ “...No?”

“Give me a moment to get it back up, then we can get to the main show, yeah?”

“Oh, uh, I’m actually, uh, not feeling too great. Maybe next time?”  _ As if I’d even fucking feel anything if we  _ did  _ get to the “main show.” _

“Doesn’t feel right to not make you cum, though.”

_ I doubt you’ve ever made a girl cum in your life.  _ “I’m good.”

He looked slightly relieved. “Okay, whatever you say. You want something to drink?”

“Sure, I’ll be here.”  _ No I fucking won’t. _

As soon as he left, she went to the nearest window and climbed out of it as quickly as possible, before rushing around to the other side of the house to try and find Chandler.

When she found her, the first thing to come out of her mouth was, “You know how you asked if I was sure I wasn’t a lesbian?”

“Yeah?” Chandler replied.

“I might’ve changed my mind.”

“Wow, that good?” Chandler asked, disbelief evident on her face.

“Hell no. After that shitshow, I never want to fuck another dude again for the rest of my life. Not even if Ya Boi Skinny Penis himself paid me his entire tuition.”

Chandler laughed. “Sounds like you need a drink.”

“ _ Please _ ,” Veronica snickered, “He told me to  _ choke on it, _ as if there was enough to even get  _ near _ my throat!”

“Please tell me you laughed at him.”

“Absolutely.”

“And he thought you choked?”

“Yep.”

“Made him cum?”

“How do you know all this?”

_ “Because that’s the exact same reaction I had.” _

“No fucking kidding?”

Chandler cackled. “Let me guess, he asked if you came too?”

_ “Ugh, _ he did. I had half a mind to explain middle school level sex ed to him.”

“He wouldn’t have understood it. You wanna get out of here? We can go watch some movies or something.”

“For real?”

“Nothing else for us here, right? You might have to drive, though, I’m a little drunk.”

“I mean, sure, I guess. Where do you wanna go?”

Chandler tossed her keys to Veronica. “I don’t fucking care. Go start up the car, I’ll be right there.”

“Okay?”

They went their separate ways. Veronica only had to wait in the car for five-ish minutes before Chandler came running out of the frat house, arms full of bottles.

Wait,  _ running? _

“Start the car, idiot!” Chandler screamed.

Veronica fumbled with the keys as Chandler got into the backseat.

“Go, go, go!” Chandler yelled as a wave of frat boys stumbled out of the house, chasing after them.

“Floor it?”

“Yes, you fucking dumbass!”

The tires screeched against the asphalt as they peeled out of the neighborhood, Chandler whooping and screaming obscenities behind them. 

“What the hell was that?” Veronica yelled over the wind as they got onto the main road.

“It’s called fun. You like? It’s very.”

“Very?” Veronica asked.

“Very.” Chandler confirmed. “You want some booze? I stole a bunch for us to drink for the movie, but this cherry vodka is calling our names.”

“Heather, I’m driving.”

“So? It doesn’t make you drunk  _ immediately _ ,” Chandler slurred, “Unless you drank the entire bottle. Wait, no, I wanna do that. Get yourself a different bottle.”

“Do you want alcohol poisoning? Because that’s how you get alcohol poisoning.”

“ ‘Alkie-hall poisoning?’ Sounds  _ festive _ .”

“Hospitalization doesn’t sound  _ festive,  _ Heather. It sounds  _ Dangerous.” _

“Puh-lease. You can get down to all the different heart monitors and just dance or rap or something.”

“So what I’m getting from this is that you’re a stupid drunk,” Veronica quipped.

Chandler pouted. “That’s not very nice.”

“Well good, because I’m not very nice, either.”

“Liar, liar, plants for hire!” Chandler sang. “The first day, you got into a fight for your little friends. It was kinda hot.”

“First of all, those aren’t the words,” Veronica said, “Second, what the fuck do you mean hot? I thought you weren’t a lesbian.”

“You’re not a lesbi- leshbin either, though… wait… uh, no, boys suck.” Chandler stood up. “BOYS SUCK!” She yelled.

“Sit down!” Veronica yelled, “Do you want to fall out of the goddamn car?”

“You’re not my fucking  _ mom,” _ Chandler huffed, “You can’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m not trying to order you around, I’m trying to keep you from getting yourself  _ killed!” _

“Since when did you care? I thought we weren’t friends,” Chandler said matter-of-factly.

“That doesn’t mean I want you to  _ die _ , you fucking limp noodle!”

“So you do care?”

“Of course I fucking care!” Veronica snapped, “But I can’t just fucking say it!”

“Why not?”

“Because then people will  _ know, _ and if they know, then they can use that against me. Then  _ you  _ could use it against me.”

“But I let you into the group, I wanna be your friend.”

“Bitch, since when? All we do is bicker!”

“I thought that was just how we are. It’s how me and Heather are.”

“No it isn’t! She’s pretty sure you hate her!”

“Nuh-uh,” Chandler protested, “She and I have been friends for years!”

“And how long have you been telling her to shut up every time she opens her mouth?”

“Uh… not… that long?”

“Exactly,” Veronica said, “That’s not how friends treat each other.”

“It’s how you treat everyone who isn’t Betty Finn and Martha Dumptruck!”

“Because everyone who isn’t Betty or Martha  _ Dunnstock _ is just looking for a way to screw me over!”

“I was just being nice to you though!”

“Yeah, but  _ why?” _

“What do you mean, ‘why?’ Do I  _ have _ to have some ulterior motive?”

_ “Yes! That’s literally your whole deal!” _

“We’re at my house. Do you want to come inside and talk?”

Veronica pulled into the driveway and put the car in park before getting out. “Honestly, I just want to go home. Good night, Heather.”

Chandler watched her stomp away, dejected. “...Night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please feel free to send us asks at either marshalls-scribbles or rainisgay on tumblr!


	4. Veronica's Hung like a Show Pony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to take over for this chapter, so big yikes  
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR HOMOPHOBIC/TRANSPHOBIC SPEECH  
> aka big bud dean is an Asshole

_ “It was the smallest fucking dick I’ve ever  _ **_seen,”_ ** Veronica said, giggling near hysterically on the floor of JD’s bedroom.

“Okay, but how many dicks  _ have _ you seen?” JD asked.

“Fuck you, I watch porn!”

“Ooh! What kind?”

Veronica had planned to walk home, but on the way, she’d passed JD’s house and noticed him laying on the roof, staring up at the sky. She’d called out to him as quietly as she could, and he let her inside when he noticed how upset she seemed.

The longer she was here, the more sure she was that this had to have been a good idea.

“Are you asking me to pull up my search history? Because I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.”

“Bet mine’s bigger.”

“Whip it out.”

“...Now I’m confused. My search history, or my dick?”

Veronica shrugged. “Either one works for me.”

“Somehow I think I’d feel less exposed if I showed you my dick than if I showed you my porn search history.”

“Good. Same rules apply here. You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.”

“Promise you won’t laugh at mine?”

“As long as it’s not a fucking inch and a half when it’s hard.”

JD snickered. “I can guarantee you mine’s  _ at least _ two.”

“Prove it, then, coward.”

“Alright, but you still have to show me yours,” he said, unzipping his fly.

“Oh, thank  _ God _ yours isn’t as small as his.”

“So, what, three inches?” JD joked.

Veronica snorted. “Pretty decent, actually.”

“You gonna show me yours now?”

Veronica nodded, shimmying out of her slacks.

“Holy shit! You’re fucking  _ hung!  _ That’s bigger than mine!” 

“So four?”

“Smartass.”

“Why, thank you,” Veronica said, “Now, phone out. I wanna see what kind of porn you’ve searched for.”

“Damn, we barely know each other and we’re already showing one another our search histories. This is the furthest I’ve ever gotten with someone I didn’t intend to sleep with,” JD remarked.

“Yeah right, more like the farthest you’ve gotten with anyone.”

“Did you just call me a virgin?”

“Absolutely.”

“Har-dee-har har.”

“I’m just saying, fucking your hand doesn’t count as sex.”

“Same goes for you then, right?”

“Oh, of course. What else would you expect? Although, I will have you know that I sucked a dick today.”

“Does it really count if it was tiny though?”

“It was a sex act that involved more than one person. Therefore I am no longer a virgin, even if it was so tiny I could fit the whole thing in my mouth without choking on it,” Veronica proclaimed, “Although, virginity is an outdated and sexist patriarchal concept, so it really doesn’t matter.”

“Wow, so I officially lost my virginity just now, too?”

“Was I in another room? Because I can’t remember any sex acts that happened between us while I’ve been here,” Veronica said, “And I’m pretty sure comparing dick sizes isn’t a sex act.”

“Yeah,  _ okay, _ Miss ‘Down-With-The-Patriarchy’ Sawyer. You’re just salty because you know I’d top.”

“In your fucking dreams, we both know you would bottom for me.”

“This is small penis discrimination.”

“No, small penis discrimination is me deciding that I’m probably a lesbian after the nightmare that was the Remington party.” Veronica yawned. “What time is it, by the way?”

JD looked at the clock on his nightstand. “Five AM. You want some coffee or hot chocolate? We can go out onto the roof and watch the sunrise or some shit?”

“I am a slut for coffee, so I’ll take some of that. Need any help?”

“If you’re offering, sure. I’ll let you make the coffee how you like while I make myself some hot chocolate.”

When they got downstairs, JD started pulling a bunch of stuff from the fridge and different cabinets while Veronica attempted to turn on the coffee machine.

“Bro, what is up with this thing? It’s got like five million buttons!”

JD peered at it. “Oh, that’s the one I upgraded for my dad when I was ten. Makes the coffee stronger if you…” He flipped a switch. “Boom. Strongest coffee you will ever drink. If you change your mind on black coffee, put cream in the compartment on the left, sugar on the right, and uh… are you lactose intolerant?”

“No, why?”

“The coffee automatically brews with milk, but we have almond and soy milk, too, somewhere. Press the green button to brew.” JD said as he went back to the stove. 

“You made this thing?” Veronica asked.

“Yeah, back when I still gave a shit about my dad.”

“Oh, damn.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean for it to get heavy all of a sudden.” He poured sugar and cinnamon into the pot.

“Nah, you’re good… are you trying to give yourself diabetes, though?”

“What?” He turned to look at her, confused. Veronica gestured at the ‘hot chocolate’ he was making. “Oh! No, it’s just my mom’s old recipe. Condensed milk, ‘Abuela’s’ chocolate, some cinnamon, and sugar to taste. Brought to a simmer on the stove. Best served with wafers, whip cream, and marshmallows. You want some?”

“That sounds like a heart attack in a cup, man. I think I’ll stick to my coffee.” 

“Your loss.”

By the time they had finished getting everything, including food- “I make a mean omelette, and you haven’t eaten in a bit, so  _ fight me, Veronica.” _ \- it was already almost 6:30, with the sun just peaking above the horizon. They sat in silence as the sun climbed the sky, Veronica digging into her breakfast ravenously.

“You ever think about how time always keeps going? Like, no matter who you are, what you do, the earth will keep rotating, the sun will keep shining, until the end of time?”

Veronica stopped mid-bite, and looked at him. “Dude, what the fuck? Are you good?”

JD laughed, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. “No, yeah, I’m good. I just think it’s interesting. Kinda makes me wanna see what I can do for the world, to be remembered after I die.”

“That’s some martyr bullshit, but okay,” She said, returning to eating. “This is  _ really good,  _ by the way. Who taught you how to cook?”

“My mom.”

“Bro, I gotta meet her some day, she sounds awesome.”

“I wish you could, man. She’d like you- she had the same ‘no nonsense’ attitude you have.”

“Oh, shit, is she-”

“She died a while back.”

“Shit, man, I’m sorry.” Veronica put the now-empty plate next to her.

“It’s fine. I’ve seen a therapist about it.” A giant black pickup truck screeched onto the quiet road, swerving this way and that. JD immediately shot up. “Oh, shit, shit, shit, Veronica, you gotta go, through the window,  _ now, please!” _

“Wait, what?” Veronica got up and scrambled back into the house, confused. “What’s happening?”

“My dad, I wasn’t expecting him home this early! We gotta get you out of here-”

The front door opened, then slammed shut.  **“Jason!”**

“You gotta hide, man,  _ please.”  _

Thundering steps up the stairs as Veronica looked for a place to hide.

_ The closet. _

She took two steps, then JD tackled her onto the bed as the door was thrown open.

“Gee, pops, ever heard of  _ knocking?”  _ His dad sneered at both of them as JD scrambled off her.

“Sorry, son, thought you would’ve heard me coming,” He replied, looking tired.

“Nah, I couldn’t hear you over all the fucking with my girlfriend.” His dad laughed. “Although, Jason, let’s be honest, I’m surprised you even managed to bring a  _ girl _ home. Thought for sure you’d let some bear shove his cock into your ass.” He looked her up and down. “Although, she’s dressed so masculine you probably couldn’t tell the difference, huh? What, does she have a girl cock that you were riding all night long?”

JD sighed. “Veronica, meet my dad, Big Bud Dean. Dad, this is Veronica.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, fag. Get rid of your shim-friend and get me a beer. I’m gonna be in my room, and you have five minutes.” He turned and slammed the door shut.

“It’s official, I’m gonna kill your dad. You’re moving in with me.”

JD laughed. “Honestly, go ahead. You wouldn’t be the first person to offer, though, so you might have to get in line. You okay to leave?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Veronica sighed, “I gotta go check on Heather anyway and make sure my social life isn’t totally over.”

“Cool. See you around?”

Veronica smiled. “Sure thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please send us asks


	5. Not Quite Friends

While Veronica was walking back to Chandler’s house, she decided to text Duke.

**V- if i hypothetically pissed off heather, how would i make it better?**

Nearly a minute later, Duke replied.

**D - Veronica, it’s fucking 7 AM on a Saturday. Shut the fuck up. If you pissed off Heather, you’re dead meat. I’ll attend your funeral though, XOXO.**

Veronica smirked as she typed out her response.

**V - if you’re offering actual hugs and kisses, i certainly wouldn’t refuse ;)**

**D - Stop being gay, I need a moment to think**

**V - bi, actually, and I refuse to stop**

Veronica paused, then sent another text.

**V - unless you’re uncomfortable, in which case i’ll totally back off**

Radio silence. 

Veronica sighed, willing her anxiety to shut the fuck up for a while as she dragged herself along.

A few minutes of her mind running in anxious circles later, her phone buzzed.

**D - Buy her some corn nuts, and Starbucks. She likes the caramel ribbon frappe, extra caramel. Also, be prepared to kiss ass. Do you need money?**

**V - when you say “kiss ass…”**

**D - She’s probably gonna make you beg. And apologize a shit ton, and she most likely won’t let you live whatever you did down, but she won’t kill you.**

**D - Hopefully.**

**V - damn i was hoping you meant literally**

**D - Yeah, okay Sawyer, tone it down. Money?**

**V - you’re not my dad**

**V - or my daddy ;)**

**D - M O N E Y?**

**V - nah i’ve got my own**

**D - Just for making me read that, pick me up a vanilla cream cold brew from Starbucks. I’ll pick it up and give you a ride home at 10. No ice.**

**V - ooh vanilla! Is that any indication of what you’d be like in bed? ;)**

**D - …**

**D - Fuck you. Make it a trenta**

**D - If you don’t know what size that is (uncultured swine) it’s the absolute biggest one they have.**

**D - I hope you go broke.**

**V - wow okay fuck you too**

**V - in the fun way, of course lol**

**V - but yeah, i’ll get you your damn coffee**

Veronica closed her messages and opened up her contacts, scrolling to Betty’s number and hitting the call button.

Betty answered on the second ring. “Hey. What’s up?”

“You working right now?”

“Yeah, why?”

Veronica sighed. “I need a favor.”

“I’m not helping you hook up with the Heathers.”

Veronica scoffed. “I’m not looking to hook up with the Heathers. Not most of them, anyway. Heather Duke is pretty okay though, I guess. Cute, too.”

“Okay, enough. I don’t want this to get into you fantasizing about Heather Duke, of all people, while you’re on the phone with me,” Betty groaned, “What’s this favor you want, anyway?”

“I need a venti caramel ribbon frappe with extra caramel and a trenta vanilla cream cold brew,” Veronica said, “The caramel’s for Heather Chandler, to smooth things over. I may or may not have royally pissed her off last night.”

“And the vanilla cream?”

“Heather Duke,” Veronica snickered, “I may or may not have gotten a little too risque while texting her earlier.”

“Veronica Sawyer, if I have to hear about you sexting the Heathers I’ll hit you over the head with a folding chair.”

“I kept it vague,” Veronica replied, “Besides, it was more like flirting than sexting.”

“Alright, I’ll get right to it, on the condition that you never make me listen to you talk about your questionable taste in women again.”

Veronica laughed. “You say that, but if I ever actually manage to fuck one of them you’ll be hounding me for details the moment you find out.”

“Whatever. See you in…”

“Ten minutes,” Veronica said, “Bye.”

“Bye.”

Veronica sighed heavily and continued her walk. Luckily, Starbucks wasn’t far, and Veronica felt a rush of relief when she approached the counter to see Betty already holding the drinks out to her.

“How much do I owe you?” Veronica asked, taking the drinks.

“My treat,” Betty said, “You can pay me back later if you really want, though.”

“Thanks.”

After picking up the drinks, it didn’t take long for her to get to Chandler’s house.

“Ah fuck,” she hissed, “I didn’t get corn nuts.”

She briefly considered leaving and getting them from a convenience store, but decided against it. Hopefully there’d be a bag in the pantry or something.

She tried the handle, a bit surprised when the door opened. That definitely didn’t seem safe. Putting it out of her mind for the moment, Veronica put Duke’s coffee down on the kitchen counter and peeked in the pantry.

“Jackpot,” she whispered, pulling a pack of corn nuts down from one of the shelves and taking it and the coffee upstairs.

Now armed with snacks and caffeine, Veronica tiptoed up the stairs to Chandler’s room, careful not to make too much noise in case Chandler was asleep or hungover.

The knock on her bedroom door was met with a very moody sounding, “What?”

“It’s Veronica. Can I come in?”

Chandler groaned. “I  _ guess.” _

“I have coffee and corn nuts.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, hurry up. My head hurts.”

Veronica turned the knob, and the door swung open silently. Inside, Chandler sat in the middle of her bed, surrounded by liquor bottles in various states of emptiness.

“How the fuck are you still alive?” Veronica said, “There’s enough alcohol here to kill an elephant!”

“Sheer force of will. You coming to apologize, or what?”

“I’m gonna go with  _ or what,” _ Veronica said, “I didn’t say anything I didn’t mean. You don’t act like any friend I’ve ever had. But I did want to make sure you didn’t totally hate me, and maybe give you a peace offering.” She offered up the coffee and corn nuts to Chandler.

“You’re a bitch, but thanks, I guess,” Chandler muttered, taking the items.

“Of course I’m a bitch,” Veronica smirked, “Wouldn’t be fun otherwise.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She took a sip of the coffee. “Did Heather help you?”

“What do you mean?”

“The corn nuts are a given, obviously, but the coffee would have had to be a  _ very  _ lucky guess. But Heather and Heather are the only ones who know to add extra caramel.”

“Does it really matter if I had help? If anything, it shows how much I wanted to smooth things over between us,” Veronica sighed, “For the record, I don’t hate you. It just takes a while for me to really consider people friends, and you haven’t really made it to that point with me yet. Neither have Heather and Heather.”

“Yeah, okay, fine. You wanna watch a movie?”

“Give me whiplash, why don’t you? Weren’t you just upset with me?”

“Yeah, but I’m a bitch, you’re not. I’m trying to get you to like me, so I gotta tone down the bitchy-ness, right?”

Veronica snorted. “It’s a start, I guess. Ever seen The Princess Bride?”

* * *

Right as the credits rolled for the movie, Duke had sent a text telling Veronica that she was on her way.

“Alright, well, Heather’s coming to pick me up, so I should probably get ready to go.”

Chandler sighed. “Okay. Need any help getting anything?”

“Nah, I got everything already, but you could walk me to the door if you want,” she said, smiling.

Chandler snickered. “How romantic. We’re not even friends yet.”

“Damn, you must still be pretty drunk if you’re actively flirting with me,” Veronica said.

“Well, I kinda didn’t sleep last night, so…”

“So you’re drunk  _ and _ sleep deprived, got it.” Veronica stopped in the front doorway. “You really should rest soon, though. You’ll probably be even more hungover once you wake up, but you definitely need the sleep.” She turned towards the door, only to be stopped by Chandler’s hand on her arm.

“Wait, Veronica-”

“Wh-”

Veronica hadn’t even managed to get a word out before Chandler pulled her down and kissed her. It was short, shy, and the alcohol on Chandler’s breath made it less than pleasant, but before Veronica could fully process what was happening, Chandler pulled back.

“Heather’s almost here,” Chandler said, pointing down the road to where Duke’s car had just turned the corner, “See you later.”

Before Veronica could speak or lose her shit, Chandler retreated back into the house and shut the door, leaving Veronica standing on the front porch holding Duke’s coffee and staring off into the middle distance with a far off look on her face.

“You got my coffee, bitch?” Duke asked after rolling down the windows.

“Yeah, I got it right here.”

“Good.” Duke took a sip of the coffee she had in her hand.

“Wait, why’d you make me get coffee if you were getting yourself coffee?” Veronica asked.

“Because I didn’t have to buy it, and also because you made me read those damn text messages with my own two eyes. Now give me the coffee, then you can get in.”

Veronica snorted. “You just lost your status as my favorite Heather.”

“Liar. You’re impressed that I can be on the same level of bitchy as you.”

“Yeah, but I’m still a little mad that you basically made me waste Betty’s money,” she said, handing over the coffee and climbing into the passenger seat.

“You’re the one who said you would be paying for it. Plus, if I’m drinking it, it’s not a waste.”

“I guess,” Veronica conceded, “You’re still a bitch though.”

“You love it.”

Veronica rolled her eyes.  _ You’re not wrong. _


	6. ;)

A week after Chandler’s weird surprise kiss, Veronica found herself at yet another shitty house party. This time, however, she’d managed to position herself in the corner of the room away from most of the people. At some point, Duke had sidled up to her, tired of socializing with idiots, and the two of them had quickly gotten into a rather involved discussion about literature and the effects of media on society.

“Honestly,” Duke groaned, “It’s no fun talking about this stuff with Heather or Heather. Heather makes fun of me for being a geek, and Heather hasn’t read a single classic novel in her life.”

Veronica snorted. “To tell you the truth, they wanted to move me to high school out of sixth grade because I was supposed to be this big genius, but the idea got scrapped because my parents thought I’d have trouble making friends.”

“You still have trouble making friends, though,” Duke smirked.

“Wow, fuck you,” Veronica laughed, “But now I’m just so  _ bored. _ I use my grand IQ to figure out which color lip gloss to wear and how to hit three keggers before curfew.”

“Tragic,” Heather muttered, taking a sip of her beer.

Veronica sighed wistfully. “But y’know, I’m honestly kinda glad I didn’t get moved ahead.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well,” Veronica shot Duke a flirtatious grin, “For starters, I got to meet you.”

Duke snorted. “Has that line ever worked for you before?”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never actually tried to flirt with anyone before,” Veronica replied, “But you’re pretty cute, and you’re smart, and you’re kinda bitchy, but that feels like it’s mostly a product of Heather’s influence.”

“Why would it be a product of Heather’s influence? Why can’t I just be a bitch?”

“Oh, trust me, you are,” Veronica said, “But you’re less bitchy when she’s not around. It’s nice. When we talk it feels more like banter than us actually trying to make each other miserable.”

“Valid assessment. What are your thoughts on poetry?”

Veronica shrugged. “It’s pretty good. I can’t get behind Bukowski’s stuff, though. He’s so pretentious. If there’s one thing I absolutely can’t stand, it’s when authors spend all their time going ‘look how smart  _ I _ am.’”

Heather laughed. “Okay, okay, I have an unpopular opinion. Sylvia Plath is overrated. Sue me.”

Veronica chuckled. “Honestly? Her stuff’s not bad, but I feel like people do kind of put certain artists on pedestals, and her work has been elevated to the point where it’s beyond criticism, and like, nothing’s beyond criticism.”

“Exactly! And it’s also so easy to make fun of her. Like, I’m kinda tipsy, but off of the top of my head, uh… ‘I had pain in my path, like Sylvia Plath, my problems were myriad…’”

_ “I was having my period,” _ Veronica said mockingly, giggling at her own joke seconds later.

“See? This is why I like you.”

“You like me?” Veronica teased.

“Shut up,” Duke laughed.

“Heyyyyy, ladies,” Ram slurred, stumbling over to Duke and Veronica with Kurt in tow and moving in  _ way _ too close for comfort.

“Fuck off, Ram,” Veronica groaned, “We’re trying to have an intelligent conversation and you’re lowering the collective IQ of the whole party just by being here.”

“Veronica, I think I’m losing brain cells just by being near them. You wanna motor?”

“Please,” Veronica agreed, ducking around Ram, only to be stopped by Kurt’s hand on her shoulder.

“It’s a party, you can’t just  _ leeeaaaave,” _ Kurt whined.

“We can and we will,” Veronica insisted, her tone even despite the way her posture tensed the moment he touched her.

Ram came up  _ right _ behind her. “But we could have so much fun if you stayed,” he said.

“Hey, are those freshmen at the fence?” Veronica asked, looking over in another direction.

As soon as they both looked, she decked Kurt in the jaw and kicked Ram in the nuts before grabbing Duke’s hand and bolting out the front door as discreetly as possible.

“Holy shit! You should’ve seen their faces!” Heather cheered.

Veronica laughed. “It was too easy!”

They made it to Duke’s jeep quickly and climbed inside, Veronica swiping Duke’s keys and starting it up.

“Why do you get to drive?”

“I was drinking water while you were drinking beer,” Veronica replied.

“Gross. If you crash us, I’m going to make sure your house forecloses.”

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Your place or mine?”

“Wow, Veronica, that’s bold. At least buy me dinner first.”

“I’ll cook for you, if you want,” she offered.

Duke frowned. “I want greasy diner food.”

“Greasy diner food it is,” Veronica said.

Twenty minutes later, Duke and Veronica sat across from one another at a table at the nearest Denny’s.

“I have to admit,” Veronica said, “This wasn’t a bad idea.”

“Greasy diner food is always the way to go when it’s late and you’re drunk.”

“Stoned too,” Veronica said, “I always crave junk food when I’m high.”

“D’you do that often?”

Veronica nodded. “It’s for my anxiety.”

“If you ever need to talk, you can always text me.”

Veronica grimaced. “Thanks.”

“You okay?”

“No, yeah, I just… I dunno, you and Heather and Heather are all trying so hard to be my friends? It’s kind of making me feel bad for always being a bitch to you guys.”

“You’re not always being a bitch though, if you think about it. Like driving Chandler home from the Remington party. You didn’t have to do that, but you did. It was nice. And also, it’s awfully nice of you to pay for the food.”

“I mean, I guess- wait, who said I was paying? You’re the rich girl.”

“Yeah, but you’re the nice one. So I’m saying you’re paying.”

“Wow, I can’t believe  _ you’re _ the one I’m trying to woo,” Veronica complained, although there was no real heat behind her words.

“Oh, boo  _ woo,  _ suck it up. You’ll be fine. It’s Denny’s, how expensive can it be?”

“Wait. Hold up. Boo  _ woo?” _

“It was a pun. You’re trying to woo me?”

“Oh. I… honestly hadn’t realized it was a pun.”

Duke snorted. “And you call yourself an English nerd.”

Veronica rolled her eyes. “God, Betty was right. I  _ do _ have questionable taste in women.”

“Questionable? More like fantastic. Have you seen me?”

“I have,” Veronica purred, leaning in close, “And I like what I see  _ very _ much.”

Duke turned red. “I- oh.”

“I may be a bitch,” Veronica grinned, looking her up and down, “But I have to give credit where credit is due. And you’re absolutely  _ stunning.” _

“Yeah, okay Sawyer, eat your fries. We can fuck after we get home,” Duke said, laughing.

“Promise?”

Duke choked on her fries. “Jesus, Sawyer, you’re killing me!”

“Well, that’s not ideal. I’ll definitely need you alive if we’re gonna fuck.”

“Well, necrophilia is a thing. It’s a crime, but it’s a thing.” 

Veronica snickered. “By the way, full disclosure, I’m trans, so like, if that’s a dealbreaker you should let me know now.”

“Why would that be a dealbreaker?”

Veronica shrugged. “You never know who’s a transphobe and who’s not. I gotta be prepared in case it changes things.”

“It’s fine, I really don’t care about it. You done eating?”

Veronica blinked. “Y’know, you took this way better than Heather did.”

“I mean, I’m not about to out anybody, but you’re not the only trans person I know, so it’s no big deal.”

“Cool,” Veronica said, “And like, I know we’ve been kinda joke-y about it, but like, I’m absolutely serious about what I said. I really do like you.”

“I like you, too. Do you wanna split the cost of the meal?”

Veronica snickered. “It’s Denny’s. It’s not like paying for dinner is gonna bankrupt me or something.”

“And here I was trying to be generous. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.”

_ “I’m _ the one taking  _ you _ on a date here,” Veronica laughed.

“Ah yes, your grand plan to seduce me. Denny’s, and then straight to your bed.”

“I mean, I kinda just generally feel safer in my own room?” Veronica shrugged, “Plus all my toys and stuff are there. Like, I’ve got lube and condoms and stuff in my pockets, but I’ve got way more stuff at home.”

“Oh, you were  _ actually planning _ on seducing me?”

“Yes? I thought that was obvious.”

“I genuinely thought you were joking. Yikes.”

“I was being one hundred percent serious.”

“Forgive me for not believing so before, I guess?”

Veronica laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t usually hit on people unless I know they’re into women, so I was really making a shot in the dark with you, so I don’t actually expect anything if you’re not comfortable with that.”

“It’s cool, girls are hot. You’re also hot, so yeah. No worries.” She got up. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Veronica pulled out her wallet and set a few bills down on the tabletop for the tip before paying the check. “So…” she said as they walked towards Duke’s car, “Are we gonna head back to my place for…  _ stuff?” _

Duke snorted. “I think I’m a little too drunk for that, but I’ve always wondered what it’s like to make out with a girl with a lip piercing.”

Veronica grinned. “I’m definitely down to make out.”


	7. Mac Fucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know that part in Mulan where she has a whole lot of food in her mouth?" - Mighty_Penguin_96 referencing a joke he made earlier while we wrote this.

“And why did you decide to come to _me_ for math tutoring instead of, I dunno, one of the _actual_ math tutors?” Veronica huffed.

Mac shrugged. “Heather said you’re really smart, so I figured you could probably help me.”

Veronica sighed. “An actual tutor could help you, too.”

“So you won’t help me?”

“I never said that,” Veronica said, “I just wanna know why you’re coming to me specifically.”

“I dunno… If you really don’t wanna help, I could go get an actual tutor, I guess… I did kind of want to spend more time with you, though.”

“Oh,” Veronica said, staring uncomprehendingly down at Mac, “You… really?”

“Yeah? I just figured it’d be a win-win since I do actually need help with math.”

“I mean, sure. Just tell me what days you’re free and we’ll set something up. I’ve got… plans... for the weekend, but we can hang out and study sometime before then.” Veronica tried to will away the way her face heated up when she thought about her and Duke’s sort-of date, and what came after.

They hadn’t gone all the way, but Veronica could still remember how hot what they _had_ done had been. She was pretty sure Duke still had hickeys on her shoulders. And as for the ones on her neck... Well, if they hadn’t faded by now, she had concealer to hide them.

“Yeah, no problem! Let’s see, I have cheer practice on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays after school, but before school I never do anything. But also I’m not really a morning person? I don’t know how well I’d learn in the mornings, unless you-”

“Would Tuesday or Thursday work, then?” Veronica asked, “Like, afternoons or evenings?”

“Yeah, that’d work!”

“Cool, so I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon to study, then?”

“Okie dokie! Oh! Also, I was wondering if after cheer practice today you wanted to hang out? We could play some video games or something at my place?”

“Uh… sure, why not? I don’t think I’ve got anything planned for tonight.”

“Neat-o! Will you need a ride? I can probably get someone to pick you up if you do.”

Veronica shrugged. “I’ll probably just ride my bike or something. You don’t have to worry about getting me a ride.”

* * *

Veronica jogged out of the house and retrieved her motorcycle from the garage once Mac sent her a text telling her to come over. She was oddly eager to hang out with Mac, but she didn’t dwell on it long. Pulling her helmet out of one of the saddlebags, she put it on and started the engine, pulling out of the driveway and making her way to Mac’s house.

When she showed up, Mac was waiting for her on the porch, water in hand. “Oh, you meant a motorcycle bike? I thought you meant a bike-bike. I had water for you.”

Veronica laughed. “The water is still appreciated, don’t worry. But yeah, I meant my motorcycle. I don’t really ride a bicycle much anymore.”

“Not to be like a nazi or anything but don’t you have to be 18 to have a license to drive a motorcycle?”

Veronica snorted. “God, don’t say shit like that when I’m drinking. Yeah, you need to be eighteen, but like, I’ve taken the road safety courses, so it’s not a super big deal. And my eighteenth is only like four or five months away, so it’s fine.”

“As long as you’re being safe about it! You wanna come inside?”

Veronica snickered. “Sure, yeah. I’d love to.”

Mac’s face flushed red. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, sorry,” Veronica laughed, “I’m just… generally really frustrated.”

“I-” Mac snickered, face still red. “Should I, uh, offer to help?”

Veronica laughed harder. “If you don’t want to, then no, but if you’re actually down for it, then I wouldn’t refuse.”

Mac looked like her brain was short circuiting. “I… don’t know yet?”

“That’s fine,” Veronica said, “Just let me know what you want when you figure it out. Or don’t. Either way, I’ll try and keep the innuendos to a minimum until you know for sure.”

They made their way upstairs to Mac’s room. On the way up, Mac spared a glance behind her and caught Veronica trailing behind by a few steps, eyes focused on-

“Y’know, you can stop staring at my ass.”

Veronica let out an embarassed squeak. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s cool, it’s cool, let’s just get to my room, okay?”

“Yeah.”

They made it to Mac’s room moments later, and Veronica took a curious look around. The walls were plastered with Madonna posters and cutesy decorations, and in one corner of the room was a large bird enclosure, housing a single bright yellow parakeet.

“This place is pretty nice,” Veronica said, chuckling to herself as her eyes caught a glimpse of glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling.

“Thanks!” She made her way to the parakeet. “Hi, Tweety-girl, how are you?”

The bird let out a shrill chirp, hopping towards Mac and leaning towards Mac’s hand as a finger slipped between the bars to pet her, the scene bringing a smile to Veronica’s face.

“Hey, Ronnie, you wanna meet her? She might let you hold her,” Mac said, opening up the cage and bringing the bird out.

Veronica hesitated. “She won’t bite me or anything, will she?”

“No, no, she’s super sweet.”

“Will she poop on me?”

“I mean, as long as you don’t scare her, no? Probably not?”

“Okay…” Veronica took a few steps towards the cage, still eyeing the bird somewhat warily. “Sorry. I’m just kinda scared of birds.”

“It’s okay! She’s sweet, I promise.” The bird hopped onto one of her fingers, and Mac extended her arm closer to Veronica. “Go ahead and pet her!”

Veronica put her arm out, extending a careful finger to pet the bird. “Hi there…”

“Her name is Tweety.”

“Hi Tweety…” Veronica amended, “Please don’t bite me…”

Mac giggled. Tweety started making kissy noises at Veronica as she pet her. “She likes you!”

Veronica laughed disbelievingly. “Holy shit.”

“You wanna hold her, or maybe next time?”

“Uh…” before Veronica could answer, Tweety hopped up and perched on her hand, chirping merrily up at her. “Jesus fuck!”

“Tweety! You can’t just scare people like that!”

“I’m fine, it’s fine,” Veronica sighed, “She just surprised me, is all.”

Mac gave a disbelieving snort. “Okay, whatever you say.”

“Listen, I’m still scared of birds, but…” Veronica gave Tweety a gentle pat, “Yours isn’t so bad.”

“Glad you think so. I’mma put her back real quick.” Mac grabbed Tweety gently, and gave her a few kisses on the top of her head as she moved back to the cage. “So, I have an idea… but it might be horrible.”

“Hit me with it.”

“Mortal Kombat, but… um, well… every time someone loses, uh… they have to… take off a piece of clothes?”

“Ooh, Heather~” Veronica teased, “Are you trying to get me naked?”

“Maybe?” Heather squeaked, turning red again.

“Well, _maybe_ I’d like to take you up on that,” Veronica smirked, “Fair warning though, I’m pretty good at Mortal Kombat.”

“Not as good as me, I bet. Uh, possible issue though?” she stammered.

Veronica frowned. “What is it?”

“I’m… kinda sorta… kinda… uh, sorta… um-”

“Heather, it’s fine, you can tell me. I won’t judge.”

“I might be… kinda… trans? So whatever you’re expecting to find down there, if you find it please tell me because I have no idea how it got there.”

Veronica snorted. “Okay, yeah, don’t worry, that’s totally fine by me.”

“Oh, really?”

“I mean, it’d be a little hypocritical of me to be transphobic, wouldn’t it?” Veronica grinned.

Heather was quiet for a moment as she tried to figure out what that meant. 

“By which I mean I am also trans, so like, I didn’t really have any expectations in the first place as far as genitalia is concerned.”

“You’re also- _oh!”_ Mac giggled. “Nice.”

Veronica laughed. “I can’t believe you caught the innuendo about me coming inside, but not this.”

Mac blushed. “Look, it’s not my fault, okay?”

Veronica snickered. “Fair enough. But yeah, I’m definitely okay with whatever you’ve got.”

“Good to know,” Mac said, turning on the TV and starting up the game.

Veronica plopped down on the floor in front of the TV, swiping the second controller and leaning back against the side of the bed. “Hope you’re ready to lose.”

Mac laughed.

And won.

Over and over again. Next thing they knew, Veronica was down to her underwear, and Mac was only missing her shirt.

“Is it weird that I’m kinda turned on right now?” Veronica asked.

Heather paused the game. “Absolutely not, that was the point.”

Veronica laughed. “Y’know, we could just go ahead and stop pretending I’ve got any chance of winning. You’ve kicked my ass so many times by now that I’ll almost definitely be naked if we play another round.”

Mac moved closer towards her. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No, but I’m getting a little impatient,” Veronica purred, “And I’m pretty turned on… so if you’re okay with it, I’d like to go ahead and skip to the main event…”

Heather blushed, moving even closer until she was basically on top of Veronica. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

“Yes,” Veronica whispered, “Hell yes.”

That was all the permission Mac needed to press her lips to Veronica’s. It was less sudden than the kiss with Chandler, and _way_ less slow than the many kisses she’d shared with Duke. It sat somewhere in between, and Veronica savored every second of it.

It wasn’t long before Mac crawled onto her lap, straddling her hips and grinding down slowly, giggling at the way Veronica moaned into the kiss.

“Jesus,” she gasped, “You’re trying to kill me.”

“Of course not,” Mac laughed, “I like you much better alive.”

“Then you’re tormenting me.”

“Maybe a little…” Mac grinned devilishly, her hand sliding down between them, fingertips just barely slipping under the waistband of Veronica’s panties. “May I?”

“God, _please.”_

Mac giggled, hand dipping beneath the fabric of her panties to wrap loosely around her shaft. “Holy shit, you’re hard already.”

“Obviously,” Veronica snorted, “With how you’ve been teasing me, I’d be surprised if I wasn’t.”

“This is _way_ better than Mortal Kombat,” Mac said.

Veronica cackled. “Gee, I’m glad I’m at least better than a video game.”

“Definitely easier than a video game.”

“Wow. I can’t believe you just called me easy.”

“Honey, you were staring at my ass on the way to my room.”

“That doesn’t make me easy, that just makes me horny,” Veronica insisted, “And I think it’s a little unfair that I’m practically naked and you’re still mostly clothed.”

“You could help with that.”

Veronica laughed. “You don’t want me to do that. I’m so frustrated I’d probably end up tearing everything off you.”

“Hot.”

“Somehow, I don’t think so. If I can’t get it off fast enough and get frustrated enough, I might cry.”

Mac got up and started removing her remaining clothes. “Yeah, let’s not try that then.”

Veronica grinned. “Besides, I kinda like watching you take stuff off. ‘S not every day I get to watch a pretty girl strip.”

“Didn’t you and Heather just hook up though?”

“Not yet… Wait. How the fuck do you know about that?”

“Heather told me? Duh.”

“Oh. Alright, well, we haven’t gone all the way yet. Mostly just made out,” Veronica shrugged, “By the way, how far do you want this to go? I mean, I’m down with going all the way, and I’ve got condoms and lube, but I dunno if I’ve got enough… and I’m rambling. Great.”

“Top drawer. Got enough lube for days.”

“...You’re way less innocent than people think, aren’t you?”

“Oh, absolutely. I just don’t wanna get hurt. Although, you can thank Heather and Heather for everything I have. They kinda just keep buying me more even though I didn’t need it before now?”

Veronica shrugged. “It’s always good to be prepared. ‘S why I keep lube and condoms in my jacket pockets.”

Mac grinned, sitting up and wiggling out of her skirt before returning to her place on Veronica’s lap. “I think we’re about to need those condoms.”

“Can you reach my jacket from here?”

“Yeah, here,” Mac said, reaching over and snagging the sleeve of the jacket with her fingertips.

“Thanks,” Veronica said, rooting through the many pockets. _I could have sworn there weren’t this many before._ Finally, her fingers closed around a square foil package. “Got it!”

Mac’s eyes widened as Veronica pulled about half a dozen condoms out of the pocket. “How many of those do you _have?”_

Veronica shrugged, tearing one of the condom packets free and putting the others back. “Usually just three or four, but I like to make sure I’m prepared for anything... Wait. Hold on a second.” Veronica examined the package carefully. “These are flavored condoms. Well, shit, that would’ve been real fucking handy when I had to blow what’s-his-name at the Remington party.”

“Oh, you blew Brad?”

“Who?”

“Tiny Dick Brad.”

“Oh yeah. Little Meat,” Veronica laughed, “No judgement for small dicks, but like, he told me to _choke on it.”_

“I haven’t seen it, but I’ve heard it’s about an inch and a half. Are the rumors true?”

“Oh, they’re true,” Veronica grinned conspiratorially, “And that’s when he’s _hard._ It’s probably _microscopic_ when it’s soft!”

“I feel bad for him.”

“I don’t,” Veronica said, “And I can proudly say that mine’s _way_ bigger.”

“Oh yeah?” Mac challenged, _“Prove it.”_

Veronica’s jaw dropped, before her expression changed to one of pure determination. “You’re on.” And with that, she shimmied out of her underwear and sat bare ass naked on the carpet of Mac’s bedroom.”

“Oh, man, that’s gotta be at least two inches!” Mac said, cackling.

Veronica snorted. “You’re not wrong. Last I measured, it’s about eight? So definitely more than two inches.”

“Damn, I’m only about six!”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Veronica said, “That’s definitely a good size. There is such a thing as _too big,_ after all.”

“Okay, well, I’ve never actually… um, done stuff like this before? So if you wanna help me with anything, uh, _please.”_

Veronica smiled reassuringly. “Alright, well, if you want, I can top, and maybe talk you through stuff if you want to do something specific? Or you can top. I’m definitely not opposed to riding you or something if you’d rather not be on the receiving end of things.”

Veronica watched as Mac apparently short circuited again. _It appears Mac.exe has stopped working._

“Heather, hey. Can you look at me?” Veronica asked, keeping her tone gentle. _She’s like a deer. I can’t scare her off. Gotta go slow._

Heather looked at her. “I’m good, I’m good, I just… This is a lot. But I wanna do this.”

“And what exactly will _this_ entail?” Veronica asked, “I need you to tell me what you want so I don’t misunderstand and do something you’re not comfortable with.”

“All the way. I’m definitely too horny to not go all the way.”

“Alright, do you wanna be the one, uh, _giving,_ Or should I?”

Heather took a deep breath and looked Veronica in the eyes. “I wanna get _fucked,”_ she announced.

Veronica’s eyes widened. “I am… _definitely_ down with that. I am absolutely gonna suck your dick at some point though.”

“And unlike with Brad, you might _actually_ choke on it,” Mac remarked.

Veronica laughed. “Speaking of sucking dick, though, would you be okay with, like… I mean, you don’t _have to,_ so like, feel free to say no, but-”

“Please?”

“Just for clarity’s sake, you’re down to like, suck my dick? Because if you’re not, that’s totally okay, I just wanna make sure we’re not misunderstanding each other.”

“Yep, we’re on the same page.”

“Okay, cool.” Veronica dug through the pockets of her jacket again, letting out a triumphant whoop when she pulled out a handful of regular condoms this time. “Yes! Now where did I put the gloves...”

“Jesus, how many pockets does that jacket have?”

“No idea,” Veronica replied, “I keep counting wrong.”

“Oh?” Mac snorted. “Are we sure I should be asking you for help with math then?”

“It’s just that every time I count it turns out I’ve overlooked at least two pockets!” Veronica whined, “It’s like someone keeps adding new ones or something!”

“Maybe you should ask Martha for help…?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Veronica said, followed by an “Aha!” as she pulled a pair of gloves out of one of the pockets.

“Quick question, why do we need gloves?”

“Assholes are stretchy, but it takes a fair amount of preparation to get anything big in there,” Veronica explained, “And gloves reduce the chance of bacterial infection, because like, if I’ve got cuts on my hands or something I don’t wanna be putting my bare fingers in there, and microtears are super common during anal sex, so you don’t want me using my bare hands. Bacterial infections are no fucking joke.”

Mac nodded once in understanding.

“Oh, almost forgot. I… really don’t feel like searching through my pockets to find the lube. Could you…?”

Mac bolted up and opened the drawer. “Yeah, I gotcha. Do you want flavored, or regular?”

“Regular. Preferably water or silicone based.”

“Gotcha. I have some ‘Slippery Stuff’ right here.”

“Perfect.”

Mac tossed the lube to Veronica and reclaimed her place on her lap. “This good?”

“Yeah, this’ll work,” Veronica said, tugging the gloves on, “The position’s not quite what I’m used to, but I’ve only ever done this with myself, so…”

“Do you want me to, um, take a different position? So it’s easier?”

Veronica shrugged. “This is probably fine. Let me just…” Veronica popped the cap on the lube, drizzling a generous amount over her gloved fingers before sliding a hand between them and pressing gently against Mac’s asshole. “Tell me if anything starts to hurt, okay?”

Mac nodded nervously. “It’s kinda cold.”

“You wanna take a second so I can warm it up?”

“No, it’s okay.”

Veronica nodded, brow furrowing in concentration as she slowly pressed inward with her middle finger, careful not to be too rough. “Good?”

“Mhm,” Mac groaned.

Veronica grinned, pressing kisses down the side of Mac’s neck as she worked her open with a second finger. “I’m gonna make this good for you. Just tell me if I do something wrong, okay?”

“I will, just please hurry up?”

Veronica chuckled. “Can’t do that. I don’t wanna hurt you. Besides, it’s kinda fun to watch you squirm.”

“God, you’re- _shit-_ mean.”

Veronica snickered as she worked a third finger inside. “I’m just trying to make sure this is as good as it can be. And maybe I’m getting back at you for teasing me earlier.”

“Trust me, it’s _really fucking good.”_

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Veronica purred, pulling her fingers out and removing the glove, “Alright. Time for the fun part. Or, the _more_ fun part.”

“Fucking _finally!”_

Veronica snickered. “Before we get to that, though, do you wanna… I mean, I just don’t want you to have to suck my dick _after_ because it’ll taste like latex and that’s not a fun flavor, so like…”

“I don’t give a shit about the taste, but if I don’t get fucked in the next minute I’m gonna scream.”

Veronica chuckled mischievously, “Believe me, if I have any say in the matter, you’ll be screaming anyway. For a totally different and much more fun reason, or course.”

“So hurry up and prove it.”

“Yeah, alright, I’m getting on with it,” Veronica laughed, rolling the condom on and lubing up, “Just like, ease down onto it. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“Yes, _mom._ Or should I say mommy?”

Veronica growled. “Keep talking like that and I might just pin you down and fuck you instead of having you ride me.”

“Is that a threat, or a promise?”

“Oh, you’re such a little brat,” Veronica laughed, “Depends. Do you wanna set the pace? I figured you might like to have some control over the general… y’know.”

“Go wild. Please.”

Veronica leaned forward then, pushing Mac onto her back and positioning herself above her. “If you need to stop, for any reason or no reason at all, tell me and we’ll stop.”

Mac nodded.

With that, Veronica pushed forward, taking slow, measured breaths as she made short, shallow thrusts until her hips were flush against Mac’s ass.

“Good?” she asked, muffling a groan into Mac’s neck as she clenched around her.

“God, _yes,”_ Mac moaned.

Veronica laughed breathlessly. “Alright, I’m gonna start slow. Let me know when you’re ready for more.”

“Am I allowed to already ask you to fuck my brains out?”

Veronica laughed. “Sure thing. And, uh… can I make a request real quick?”

“What’s up?”

“I uh, don’t think I minded it when you called me mommy,” she admitted, “So like… maybe… I just, y’know.”

“Whatever you want, _mommy.”_

Veronica honest-to-god _whimpered,_ before pulling almost all the way out and slamming back in. “This what you wanted, cutie?”

Heather nodded frantically, biting her lip and groaning.

“Use your words, Heather,” Veronica teased, repeating the action a few times before stilling.

 _“God fuck- yes,”_ Heather said, trying to catch her breath. “Please, mommy.”

“That’s more like it,” Veronica murmured, resuming her ministrations and setting a quick pace, groaning at how amazing it felt.

Mac keened, high and needy, gripping Veronica’s shoulders like a lifeline.

Suddenly, the door opened. “Heather, you weren’t answering my texts, and the front door was unlocked, are you-” Heather Duke looked up to see them on the floor, both looking at her with a deer-in-the-headlights expression. She took a step back into the hallway, and closed the door. “Sorry!” She called. “I’ll wait in the kitchen!”

Veronica and Mac stared at one another for a long moment, before breaking down into helpless giggles.

“Did this just totally ruin the mood?” Veronica cackled.

Mac snorted. “If you think Heather’s going to stop me from getting fucked, you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Oh, _you’re_ the one who’s gonna be sore,” Veronica growled, thrusting even harder as she left kisses and hickeys all along Mac’s collarbone and chest.

Mac moaned, the sound turning into a high pitched whine as Veronica’s hand wrapped around Mac’s dick and started stroking in time with her thrusts.

Veronica groaned as Mac clenched around her. “You getting close?”

Mac nodded desperately, bucking into Veronica’s hand. _“Please, please, please, please mommy I wanna_ **_cum.”_ **

Veronica moaned. “Do it. I wanna watch you cum all over yourself. _Scream for me,_ cutie.”

Mac arched, heels digging into the carpet as she all but _howled._ **_“Mommy!”_**

Veronica slowed her thrusts, barely registering the sound of something breaking downstairs, watching in awe as Mac came all over her stomach and chest, some of it even hitting her neck and chin as Veronica fucked her through her orgasm.

“You okay?” Veronica whispered, pressing soft kisses to Mac’s cheeks as she pulled out. “I wasn’t too rough, was I?”

Mac panted. “No, no, you’re fine. That was… that was good. It was fun.”

Veronica snorted. “Just good? I’m hurt.”

“It was fan-fucking-tabulous. I started with good because I don’t have anything to compare it to, but I’ll save your ego.”

Veronica grinned as she removed the condom and chucked it into the trash. “I gotta say, I had no idea that that was a kink I had. Thanks. For uh… indulging me.”

“Anytime. Seriously.”

“By the way, uh…” Veronica gestured to her own still hard dick. “I still haven’t… y’know… and you’ve got that flavored condom, so the latex taste shouldn’t be a problem, and you won’t have to have my cum in your mouth, so that’s probably a huge plus…”

“What if I didn’t want a condom?”

Veronica shrugged. “I mean, if you’re cool with the weird latex taste, then go for it.”

“Neat.”

Veronica snickered. “You want me to talk you through it?”

“Please?”

Veronica nodded. “C’mere.”

Mac moved forward, sitting on her knees in front of Veronica.

Veronica leaned back against the side of the bed, spreading her legs. “Alright, so it’s pretty simple? Just like, do what you think would feel good to you, and I’ll let you know what works and what doesn’t, okay?”

Mac nodded, leaning down and licking a stripe up the side of Veronica’s dick before wrapping her lips around the head and pumping the shaft with her hand.

“Holy shit,” Veronica gasped, “Good. _So good.”_

Mac hummed, feeling a wave of satisfaction as Veronica whined in response.

At that moment, Duke threw open the door once again. “You guys are still fucking going at it?”

“I haven’t gotten to cum yet!” Veronica groaned, “Let me live!”

“Oh, boo hoo, I didn’t get to cum that night that we made out but you didn’t hear me complain about it.”

“I didn’t cum then, either!” Veronica griped. “If you’re so fucking bent out of shape about it, you can join in. As long as Heather’s okay with it, that is.”

Mac nodded as best as she could from her current position.

“Cool, so we’re both fine with it,” Veronica said, “You wanna- _oh fuck,_ you wanna come over here and join in?”

Wordlessly, Duke walked towards Veronica, already unbuttoning her shirt. 

Veronica grinned. “Oh _hell_ yes.”

Duke got onto her knees to kiss Veronica, pulling an indignant squawk from Mac.

Veronica hummed into the kiss, pulling her closer and undoing the clasp of her bra, letting out another groan as Mac picked up the pace.

“God, she’s got you really worked up, huh?” Duke remarked.

Veronica moaned, low and long against Duke’s shoulder. “I wanted to get her off but I also wanted to get my dick sucked so I didn’t cum when I was fucking her.”

“Sounded like she definitely had fun,” Duke said, “I heard her scream from all the way in the kitchen. And uh, I may or may not have broken a glass when I heard it. Everything’s cleaned up though, so it’s all good.”

Mac stopped what she was doing and looked at Duke. “Was it one of the really really fancy glasses?”

“Nah, those are on the top shelf, remember? I can’t reach that high.”

“Okay, no worries,” Mac said before returning to what she was doing.

“So, if I call you mommy will you, like, cum immediately, or?”

Veronica whined, one hand fisting in Mac’s hair as she arched, holding her other hand over her mouth to muffle the sounds she made.

“Guess that answers that,” Duke said, giggling helplessly, “Heather, before you swallow- _if_ you swallow…”

Mac looked up at her curiously. 

“C’mere. It’s rude not to share, y’know.”

 _“Fuck,”_ Veronica groaned, “If Heather wasn’t trying to kill me, you sure as hell are.”

Duke smirked, pulling Mac close and kissing her passionately.

“Holy shit.”

Duke winked at her, deepening the kiss, and Veronica groaned.

“You’re gonna get me hard again at this rate.”

“I’m already hard again,” Mac said the moment she and Duke separated.

“You wanna go for a second round?”

“I haven’t even gotten a _first_ round!” Duke complained.

“Want me to eat you out and then Heather and I can fuck you?” Veronica offered.

“Obviously, what else did you expect?”

Veronica nodded. “Alright. Should we move this to the bed?”

“Sure.”

Veronica slowly rose to her feet, still a little shaky, and climbed onto the bed, Mac and Duke following soon after.

“So, how do you wanna do this? You could lie back and I can eat you out like that, or I can lie down and you can ride my face.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Lie down, I’m gonna ride your face.”

“Oh _hell yeah,”_ Veronica said, stacking a couple pillows to support her head and lying down.

“You’re real eager for this,” Duke remarked as she moved to straddle Veronica’s head.

“I’ve been wanting to do this since before the party where we made out,” Veronica said, bringing her hands to Duke’s hips and pulling her down.

Duke gasped as Veronica’s tongue ran along her vulva in one long stroke before the tip of her tongue swirled around her clit, teasing, never touching it directly.

Duke groaned, fingers tangling in Veronica’s hair as she ground down against her mouth. “I swear if you keep teasing me…”

She never got a chance to finish her though, because Veronica chose that moment to wrap her lips around Duke’s clit.

Duke’s free hand immediately grabbed the headboard as she tried to hold herself up. “Holy shit.”

Veronica gave her a smug wink, never slowing down as she worked to make Duke cum.

It didn’t take long before Duke let out a whine, pulling Veronica’s hair hard enough to sting as she came, Veronica slowly fucking her through the aftershocks, only stopping when Duke started to pull away.

“That was hot,” Mac said.

“Tell me about it,” Veronica grinned, grabbing a tissue from Mac’s nightstand and wiping her face, “You alright?”

“How the fuck did you learn to do that?” Duke gasped, flopping onto her back next to Veronica.

Veronica shrugged. “That’s the first time I’ve ever done something like that.”

“That’s… wait, really?”

Veronica nodded.

Duke hummed. “Well, if you’re gonna get better with experience then I’m gonna have to get used to cumming _at least_ that hard from now on.”

Mac snorted. “I guess the same goes for me, then, doesn’t it?”

Duke laughed. “God, Veronica, you’re gonna kill us.”

“Death by mind-blowing orgasm,” Mac mused, “Doesn’t sound like such a bad way to go.”

Veronica chuckled. “You ready for round two? I’m so hard right now it almost hurts.”

“How are we gonna do this?” Mac asked.

Veronica thought for a moment. “Heather, have you ever been spit roasted?”

“What the fuck?” Duke laughed, “No. Why?”

Veronica shrugged. “I’ve always kinda wanted to try it, honestly.”

“I’m game,” Mac said.

“Sure. Why the hell not,” Duke said, sitting up.

“I’ll grab some more condoms,” Veronica said.

“Also in the top drawer. You can thank Heather for these, too.”

“You actually kept all the- _holy shit you you kept all the stuff I gave you.”_ Duke peered into the drawer, eyes wide.

“Well, duh. What else was I supposed to do with it?”

“Throw it away? Are any of these expired?”

“Uh…”

Veronica froze. “Heather Elle McNamara, I swear to god if we used expired lube-”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I go through it once a month and toss out whatever is expired or about to expire!”

Veronica let out a sigh of relief. “You had me worried for a second.”

Duke huffed. “Never pull a trick like that again. Got it?”

Mac snorted. “Alright. I won’t.”

“Good, now…” Veronica retrieved the bottle of lube and a box of condoms. “Who’s doing what?”

“I think it’s only fair that Heather gets sucked off this time,” Duke said, “Y’know, since you’ve already had a turn.”

“Fair enough,” Veronica said, “I’ve got flavored condoms, if you wanna use one of those. And regular condoms. I know you’re on the pill, but if you want me to use a condom I’m totally down with that.”

“No condom. Mama didn’t raise no bitch.”

“On the contrary-”

“Can it, Sawyer.”

Veronica snorted. “You know I love it when you’re mean to me.”

“Kinky bitch.”

Mac blinked. “Is this… normal for the two of you?”

“Yup,” Veronica said, “Don’t worry though, we’ve got boundaries. This is just banter.”

“This is basically our version of foreplay,” Duke remarked.

Veronica snickered. “Pretty much.”

“Alright, enough talking,” Duke said, “Let’s get to the good part.”

“Was me eating you out not good enough?”

“No. No it wasn’t.”

“Wow, what a bitch.”

Duke smirked. “I thought you liked when I’m mean to you.”

Mac huffed, pulling Duke close and kissing her neck. “C’mon,” she murmured, “Don’t you want her to fuck you? It felt _so good_ when she fucked me.”

Duke let out a surprised moan. “Y-yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”

Veronica grinned. “Get on your hands and knees. I promise I’ll take good care of you.”

“Yes, _mommy,”_ Duke retorted, squeaking in surprise when Veronica pulled her back until her cock nudged her clit.

“If you’re trying to rile me up, it’s working,” Veronica purred.

Mac giggled at the bright pink blush that spread across Duke’s face. “Don’t call her that unless you’re ready to get absolutely _wrecked.”_

Duke groaned. _“Jesus,_ that’s hot.”

Veronica chuckled, pulling away just enough to lube up before carefully pushing the head of her cock into Duke’s pussy.

 _“Veronica,”_ Duke moaned, falling forward onto her elbows, ass in the air, whimpering as Veronica moved slowly inside her.

“What is it, Heather?” Veronica cooed, “Tell me what you want.”

_“More. Please.”_

“Please _what?”_

_“Please, mommy?”_

Veronica grunted as her hips snapped forward, moaning when her cock slid all the way inside her.

“Guess it’s my turn, huh?” Mac said, crawling forward.

Duke whimpered on a particularly rough thrust before pushing herself up on her hands and knees and taking Mac’s cock in her mouth.

 _“Oh holy fuck,”_ Mac sighed, pushing her hips forward just a bit, “That’s… _ohhhhh.”_

Veronica grinned. “I might not last long like this. You both look so good like this I dunno how long I’ll be able to hold back.”

Mac hummed. “I’m not gonna hold anything back.”

Veronica laughed, thrusting forward harder and delighting in Duke’s moans and the way Mac’s thighs trembled in response.

It was like a feedback loop, Veronica would speed up, or go deeper, or harder, and Duke would moan around Mac’s cock, which would cause Mac to whine and her thighs to tremble with the effort of not just fucking her mouth, and the visual would work Veronica up to the point that she couldn’t help ramping up the intensity, and the whole cycle would start again.

Mac came first, keening as she pulled back just enough that Duke wouldn’t choke, trembling as Duke swallowed around the head of her cock and stroked her shaft through her orgasm, collapsing on her back the moment Duke released her.

Veronica, however, simply took the opportunity to curl over Duke, holding herself up on her hands and knees as she drove her hips forward frantically.

“Gonna cum,” Veronica grunted, her hips stuttering in their rhythm.

“Do it,” Duke moaned, _“Cum in me, mommy.”_

That was all it took. Veronica groaned and came inside her, holding her close and muffling her noises against Duke’s shoulder, pulling out and falling on her side.

“I don’t think I can do that again,” Veronica panted, “Not for a while, at least.”

Duke hummed, adjusting her position so her back was propped up against the pillows. “Well, I still need to cum.”

Veronica grinned at Mac. “Should I take care of her, or do you want to do it?”

“I’ll do it,” Mac said, eagerly settling her face between Duke’s legs, “I haven’t had a chance to eat her out yet.”

Duke chuckled. “Well, you’d better get to it. I was pretty close already, so- _ohhhh, yeah, just like that.”_

Mac moaned as she ate Duke out, exploring with her tongue and losing herself in her task.

Duke came faster this time, pulling hard on Mac’s hair and grinding against her mouth until she collapsed, limp and sated, against the pillows.

Mac pulled away, smug satisfaction in her eyes, and pulled Veronica into a demanding kiss, letting her experience the combined tastes of Duke and herself.

“Shit, that’s hot,” Duke muttered, “Stop being hot. I’m too tired to go again.”

Mac giggled as she and Veronica parted. “It was your idea the first time,” she said, grabbing a tissue and wiping her face.

“I dunno about the two of you,” Veronica said, scooting up close to Duke and wrapping her arms around her waist, “But I’m definitely down to do that again sometime.”

Mac and Duke both made tired noises of agreement, Mac joining the cuddle pile a moment later.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hesitate to leave a comment! Feedback is always appreciated!


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